Random Things

So this is just a random post because it been a while since I last updated my blog. I still in my semester break and to avoid any unprofitable activity, I started working. Masyuk la sikit hehehe. And  I just got my semester 3 result. Alhamdulillah my result have an improvement AD  (happy tear). To speak the truth, semester 3 was the craziest and chaotic that I had to live for. Crying was my 'favorite' hobby during that time .What a drama (-_-')

That was when the motivation and determination for study hit me. I don't give any single shit to those 'friends' that judging without knowing any fact about me. I have a huge fight (bukan tumbuk-tumbuk tau, just a verbal fight) with them on one night. Tuesday night. I still remembered every single word that they thrown to me. 

I tried to explain those misunderstanding and false statements about me sebab apa yang diorang cakap tu dah jatuh fitnah! But they didn't give any chance for me to open my mouth. The only thing that I can do is crying and Astagfirullahalazim (mengucap dalam hati je lah, nanti kata warak pula kan). Even when I try to talk, I can't sebab waktu tu menangis gila-gila lah. That memory really break my heart. I called my super-ultimate-tingtong-bestfriend sebab I really need someone during that times. I remembered my ting-tong friend panik gila sebab first time call dia lepastu menangis je. 

Before the incident happened, I thought they were my bestfriends. Even they always bergurau kasar dan bercakap kasar. I still can accept them as who they are. That night really makes me realized that they are not my bestfriends anymore. Biarlah hanya sekadar kawan biasa. 

I felt sad sebab it was me yang minta maaf. Hanya sebab tak nak benda tu berlarutan. I didn't heard any single apology that come from their mouth. Saya bukannya demand nak mereka minta maaf. But, it is common sense kot. Dah la tuduh orang macam-macam, lepastu tak terfikir ke nak minta maaf? haihh?! But, deep down in my heart, I just forgive of what they did. I deserved to be happy. Oh, and we still friends tapi tipulah kalau tak terkesan dalam hati masing-masing kan?

Mulai haritu, I started to do everything by myself. Before this pun macam tu, but everytimes when they ask me keluar sesama, I try to avoid it. Bukannya dah tak nak mesra macam dulu, tapi I know diorang masih mengata belakang saya. Depan-depan pun diorang mengata, takkan dekat belakang tak mengata kan? Lagipun hati saya sakit bila diorang cakap bukan-bukan. Ye sis, hati saya tisu. The annoying part is when I when to bergurau (not using harsh words tau) with them, reti pula diorang nak melenting. Eh eh eh, sebat dengan getah paip baru tahu!

So, the only good thing that the incident did to me is I should be a better person. Much more better than before. I am not trying to impress them, I just want to be a better me. They can talk anything about me now or forever. I just do not care anymore. I don't want to involve in any meaningless argument. And one thing that they forgot, I am an ex-law student (even sampai foundation je hehehe). So, I boleh je nak argue about everything yang diorang 'bahaskan' tu. But, I just keep silence and smile. And I already feel better. My life become better as well as my study. I just focus my life on things that can make me happy.

Last but not least, I am sorry for any word yang dianggap kasar dalam post kali ini. And I have no idea how I end up writing about this story :)